People often ask me why movies cost so much. And I say, “Well, as a professor of economics and expert on all things film, I am the perfect person for you to ask that question.” And then they look at me like, “You sarcastic little...” or punch me in the face, depending on who they are.

Ok, I’m going to level with you. I’ve never said that to anyone, and I’ve never been punched in the face (except with boxing gloves on). I don’t know why I said that. I’m sorry for wasting everyone’s time.

In any case, people actually do ask me why movies cost so much, and whether or not I’m the right person to answer that question (I’m not), I generally make up an answer/answer as best as I can.

Basically, a lot more manpower goes into making a film than people even realize. Even a 5 minute short film where all the cast and crew are working for free can take months to make and can cost a few thousand dollars. And that’s cutting corners everywhere. The other day, as I was rewriting Sudden Death! for the 11th time, I had a bit of a breakthrough on a part of the script that I was never really satisfied with. The problem is, it involved kids. Now, if you don’t work in the film business, kids are notoriously difficult to work with because... well, they’re kids. It’s a commonly known fact that you should never work with kids and animals if you can avoid it (sick that we put kids and animals in the same category, but the PETA standards for animals are just about as strict, if not more so, than the standards for kids).

So, I turned to my producer/wife Melanie and said, “Hey, how do you feel about kids?” She glared at me in a mixture of fear/concern. “No, no,” I said. “Not having kids. Not yet, anyway. I mean kids in Sudden Death!” Her glare didn’t change. If anything, it became more concerned. That’s because, besides being difficult to work with, kids bring along a lot of extra cost and red tape. For one thing, you have to hire a studio teacher to be on set for any kids you have in the cast. That’s a fair chunk of change right there. Plus, you have to file all sorts of permits and extra paperwork. Basically, the whole thing just adds a bunch of cost and headaches. She read the newest draft of the script, however, and grudgingly agreed that it was a worthwhile change, in spite of the cost and extra work. So, for now at least, the kids are in! That’ll probably end up changing, it’s just the nature of filmmaking, but still.

So, even a minute change can add a ton of cost. Not to mention paying a crew, and, what a lot of people don’t think of, a huge expense is just having to feed the cast and crew, which for a film like Sudden Death!, will be as many as 50-75 depending on the day. For a blockbuster, that number balloons to several hundred. We’re hoping to get some in-kind donations, however, to deflate that cost (if anyone from Chick-Fil-A is reading this, email me!).

So, there you go. A rambling, non-sensical response about kids and money that answered almost no questions about why films are so expensive. But what do you expect, I’m the “creative one.” Ask the producer. She’s good at this kind of stuff, and probably won’t make up an answer.